Drifting through the twindom fog....

Well it sure has been awhile since my last post....I've been pretty busy as one may expect :). The girls did not get to come home on Thanksgiving :(. The night we roomed in with them, Lili has 3 bradys where her heart rate dropped to 30. Charli wasn't due to come home until Friday originally but they were going to let her come home with Lili on Thanksgiving for convenience. Since Lili was now pushed off another 5 days, we brought Charli home on Friday. It was tough leaving Lili in the hospital by herself....but she got to come home on Sunday so it was only for 2 days. Barrett was excited to meet his sisters! I think when we brought the 2nd baby home though he was a little confused :). He probably wondered why there were 2 that looked exactly alike and if there were anymore coming! He is an AMAZING big brother already and adjusted better than we could have ever asked for. Our family is a blessing.

Since being home the babies have done SO well. Last doctor's appointment, which was 12/19, Charli weighed 7.12 and Lili weighed 7.10....so they have gained almost 3 lbs since birth. They eat like champs! They never took to breastfeeding and I have stopped pumping. I wasn't getting very much and it was more tiring than anything. They got the most important stuff so I need to not beat myself up over it. We wish they were breastfeeding though....they go through a huge canister of Enfamil from Costco in 5 days!!! And we go through about 120 diapers in a week...that's including Barrett who will begin potty training after New Years. Once he is out of diapers we will be down to about 85 or so. I have mastered feeding both of them at the same time though. It took some practice, but with one in the Boppy and one on my lap, I get it done!

They have developed into little people with little personalities. As I thought while in the womb, baby A, Charli, is more laid back and takes after Louis. And baby B, Lili, is more fiesty and takes after me. They make funny noises and "talk" to each other all of the time. And they LOVE to be next to each other. I sometimes sit them together in the Boppy and they put their arms across one another....it's too cute!

My days seem to be consumed with feeding and changing babies, cleaning and always doing laundry....oh yeah, and sleeping when I can! Lili does well with sleeping in the middle of the night, only waking when it's time to eat. Charli on the other hand has her days and nights a bit confused....so we are working on trying to keep her awake more during the day. Louis and I share the responsibilities of feeding so we are equally tired :). We take turns every other day getting up with Barrett. It works out well....and I don't know if we would be standing if it weren't for him being in daycare during the week. That definitely allows for a bit of time for us to try and catch up. Although we admit, having 2 newborns is tough and we needed to have my brother Jeremy and his girlfriend babysit for the night while we went and got a hotel room to sleep. The next morning both of us agreed we could have slept another 12 hours...but it definitely did some good!

Christmas was fantastic! We hosted my family at our house. It ended up snowing on the 23rd-the 25th...so I had a true test of being a housewife since Louis was out doing snow removal :). I must say, I didn't do too shabby! I had to take care of all 3 kiddos, while cleaning and cooking for X-mas. And on top of that, once I finished doing all of that for the day, I had to bath all of us and get us ready to go to Louis' mom's X-mas Eve. It was very tiring, but I did it! I think the combo of those few days for me and the lack of sleep Louis got doing snow removal were the topper for us needing the night of sleep. Santa Claus was very good to Barrett...and he deserved it. He was such a great helper to mommy on X-mas Eve day while daddy was working! He LOVES to help clean so I gave him a Clorox wipe and he wiped down all of the walls and doors while I got some cooking done. And he helped with his sisters....which by the way he doesn't really know their names and it's so cute. He just calls them sisters. If you ask ones name, he answers "sister". I think he knows that one is Lili and one is Charli....but it's just easier for him to call them sister so that's what he calls them.

So all in all, I couldn't be happier. Having all 3 of my children together, home and healthy, is what I kept my mind focused on for the 10 weeks I was in the hospital. God made it happen and I couldn't be more thankful! I couldn't have done it without the love and support of my family and friends either, so for that I thank all of you. I will update periodically and keep you all posted on the crazy life of the Mullen family :). Until next time.......

Liam Patrick

I forgot to add that my brother Chris and sister in law Erin had their second child, Liam Patrick, on November 19th at about 4:30ish (I think!). He was 7 lbs 1 ounce and 19 3/4 inches. He is adorable. Big sister Emma is apparently doing ok with him. I am so glad he made it here safe and sound as well as Erin starting having contractions at 33 weeks. She made it to about 38....you go Erin! My parents went from having 3 grandchildren to 6 in the matter of 2 weeks.....holidays are going to be so fun in a few years :).

Possible homecoming

Things have been going great. Both girls had feeding tubes removed and are eating like champs. Charlize Sophia was 5.12 last we heard and Liliana Helen was 5.9....so gaining weight! I have attempted breast feeding with both of them and don't think they are getting very much milk. After each attempt they eat a whole feeding from a bottle so all I can do is keep trying I guess. It's a bummer because Barrett took right to it and I never really had any problems. Pumping has been VERY tiring so I really hope that if I continue to try they will take to it so I can decrease pumping. If they don't, I will pump for as long as I can...but just don't know how much I have it in me to keep it up....we'll see. I would have to say that it is one of the worst parts about them being preemies actually. With Barrett I only had to pump occassionally....pumping every 2-3 hours just isn't the same. Oh well....I can't beat myself up....I did spend 10 weeks in the hospital to fight for them....I think they will understand :).
Both girls are doing great as far as the bradys go too. And because of that we may be able to bring them home on Thanksgiving!!!!! We won't be able to bring them to dinner or anything....but I couldn't ask for a better Thanksgiving if they are with me at home! They need to be brady free for 5 days.....so far so good. Louis and I held the babies today without being hooked up to the heart rate monitor. It's a little scary at first, but I think we have both come to realize when they are forgetting to breath and we have learned what to do. It's going to be nerve wracking and I'm sure I will have lots of sleepless nights because of it, but it will be SO wonderful to bring them home....and what better day than Thanksgiving! I have SO much to be thankful for this year. We will be rooming in with the girls tomorrow night at the hospital. It's nice they do that so we get to have a practice run of what it's going to be like, but have the nursing staff there if something is happening or we have any questions. We also had to watch a few videos today on infant CPR, RSV and Shaken Baby Syndrome. Both Louis and I know CPR so it was a great refresher!
So all in all, we couldn't have asked for a better outcome in this whole experience. I know lots of you can't wait to meet them....and you will in time. We need to ease them into things so we don't over stimulate them (so different than full term babies!....even rubbing them and rocking them can be too much!).....and unfortunately with the flu and RSV we need to be very cautious. I don't want to have to go back to Presbytarian St. Luke's hospital for anything other than the occasional visit to my favorite nurses on 3A :).
I will let you all know if things go as planned...and if they don't, at least we know it's not far off. But please say some more prayers that Thanksgiving day will be the day our little angels get to come home and we can finally be our family of 5! Boy is Barrett done for :). Thanks!

Finally some pics

I finally got around to downloading the pics off my camera. There are a few of my pregnant belly and then obviously the girls....and had to throw one in there of our number 1 son too :). The girls doing well. Lili is still having bradys, but her eating from a bottle has increased so less tube feeding. Charli's eating from a bottle has decreased a bit and she unfortunately had a brady last night. We originally thought she might be home first....but now we think she doesn't want to leave her sister behind so she is going to act up to stay with her :). But apparently all their behaviors are normal and nothing that is concerning the docs. So here's the pics....enjoy!

The NICU rollercoaster has opened for business

So the ride has begun! As I said in the last post, Lili has been having bradys. Well, after the other day when she had that long one when I was holding her, they decided that evening to suction her nose after she had another one. They apparently got quite a lot of boogies out and she didn't have any bradys for about a 12 hour stretch. When she did have one it wasn't very long and she recovered on her own. I was SO happy and felt much more relieved.....thought maybe she was having them because of congestion. When I went to see them yesterday both girls were really alert and I got to breastfeed and follow up with a bottle feed with each of them. It was a great visit! When I called this morning she had only had 1 last night and it was another quick one that she recovered from on her own....so again, very relieved!
Louis and I went to see them today. While I was holding Lili she decided to have 4 bradys in an hour!!! She recovered on her own for 3 of them, but needed a little light stimulation for the other one. I sat there crying for the majority of our visit. It's SO scary to be holding your little baby and her heart rate drops to an alarming rate. I feel SO panicked when it happens and it scares me to hold her because I am afraid that if she were to have a terrible one I wouldn't know what to do. I know the nursing staff is there to do what they need to do....but I am her mommy and I should be able to protect her and help her when she needs it. And then I have terrible feelings of guilt because I now have this fear of holding her and I know she needs to be held and loved by me. I don't want to fear going to see my babies because of this and I know it's something I need to get over. I think my hormones are all over the board too which I know isn't helping the situation.
Charli also had one while Louis was holding her. Hers only dropped for literally a second so I don't know if that is truly counted as one. The nurses try to comfort me and have said that even term babies have bradys but because they aren't monitored it is never known....but again, that still doesn't comfort me.
I just called to check on them and the nurse tonight seems great. Lili did have another brady but it was another short one that she recovered on her own. I told the nurse about this afternoon and my new fear of holding my own child and she made a few suggestions. She said to maybe limit the time I am holding her because she could be getting over stimulated and that is her body's way of telling me she needs to go back and lay down. She also said that a lot of the time it is positional and to be sure she has a clear airway while I am holding her. She assured me that this is very normal, not a concern, and something she should grow out of in the next 2-3 weeks. She said she knows it's hard for parents to handle and told me to call in the middle of the night if I am up and worried. I really like this nurse...and maybe that was part of my issue today, I didn't feel 100% comfortable with the nurse. She didn't seem as caring as the other nurses I have met and wasn't very informative.....so maybe I can request not to have her again. I will look into that.
So anyhow, I knew this next chapter of our journey with our girls wasn't going to be easy but I guess because they moved to the grad NICU so quickly and everyone was so impressed with how well they were doing, I got excited and expected them to be home sooner than I think they will...or at least Liliana will. Hopefully we will be on the uphill slope of this ride again and it will level out and we can get off.....but I have a feeling we might have a few dips before that happens. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Babies born November 6, 2009

So I have been a little busy, as you all can imagine, and haven't had time to post. Charlize Sophia and Liliana Helen were born on November 6th at 1:26 pm and 1:28 pm. Charli weighed 5 lbs 4 ozs and was 18 1/4 inches and Lili weighed 5 lbs and was 19 inches. They were born at 33 weeks 6 days and are doing well.
The day started out with an amnio at 8:30 am....didn't hurt as bad as I had imagined. We got the results at about 10. Mature lungs are a 55, the gray area is the 30's and 40's (I think). The test came back at 34. Needless to say, not the number we had hoped for. The doctor said that it was our decision and we had already said that we were going to go through with the csection if they were in the gray area, so he was ok to deliver. I was very upset and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be making the wrong decision. I knew I couldn't take another week in the hospital with the stress of wondering if the babies were ok, but I didn't know if taking them out was right. He assured us that our decision was going to be the right one no matter what but that he had to tell us the good, bad and ugly and that they could possibly be on a ventilator but the chances were small....and that basically the risks of keeping them and taking them out were pretty equal. So after much anguish, we decided to go through with the csection because we would rather have them in the NICU where they can be helped if necessary.
So the csection was at 1 and they were both here by 1:30. What a different experience than Barrett's birth!! Louis and I walked back to the OR, were able to get a cute pic of us before hand and I remembered everything. Right after birth we were told they were doing well and didn't need any oxygen!! What FANTASTIC news!!! I DID make the right decision after all.
After delivering the babies and getting my tubes tied...oh yeah, that's right, no more stressful pregnancies for me! 10 weeks in the hospital was enough :). Louis spent time with me in recovery, there was a surgery going on in the NICU so he couldn't get in until that was done. Once he could get in, he went to check the babies and all was going well. I finally got down to see them at 8pm that evening. They are BEAUTIFUL and look SO much like Barrett did as a baby it's crazy!! They spent 4 days in the NICU before being moved to the graduate NICU. They were under photo therapy lights for jaundice (which is very common in preemies), had IV's for fluids and feeding tubes. They started eating from a bottle on day 2, but get tube fed every other feed to be sure they get all of the necessary nourishment and they get tired out easily...eating is a chore! They are in isolettes to control their body temps but are very close to getting out of those. IV's were taken out on Tuesday. Other than learning how to eat everything is going great....for Charli that is. The nurse today said Charli is doing better than most babies at her gestational age. Lili on the other hand has been having bradys. Bradys are basically when the babies heart rate drops below 80. An alarm goes off alerting the nurse. The reason they happen is that she just forgets to breath. Apparently these are very common with premature babies...but still is very worrisome to me. She had one when we were there today while I was holding her. It was the longest one she has had and totally freaked me out. I sat there balling while the nurse was coaching me on what to do when they happen. She has about 5 or so a day and is something she should grow out of in the next week or 2. They did test for infection and that came back clear. If they continue the doc is considering putting her on caffeine to help keep her stimulated.
With my hormones crashing and Lili's bradys, today has been an emotional day. Being home without my little angels is tough. I am trying to stay positive and know that I am blessed they are doing so well.....but I think I also need to let my guard down for a minute and have a good cry about it. It's been a long road and I can't wait until they are home with us. I think Charli will come home first and hopefully Lili will be right behind. She has to be brady free for 5 days before coming home...so keep her in your prayers. I will post pics once I have a minute to go through the office ( which looks like a bomb went off in) and look for the cord to download them on to the computer. Hopefully I will find that time tomorrow.
So for now, that is my news. I will keep you posted on their progress! Thanks as always.

End in sight

I know I haven't blogged in awhile...I haven't had the computer.....but there actually hasn't been much action to tell you all about, so I guess that's a good thing. However, there is an end in sight!!!!! I have an amniocentisis this Friday, November 6th ,at 8:30 am to see if their lungs are mature enough to deliver. After scheduling that appointment, I decided that I just wanted to get the csection scheduled for 34 weeks and not push it any further. After talking to my doc, he suggested we still do the amnio. If their lungs are completely immature, then I am going to push it a few more days...but I don't think I have it in me to go a whole complete additional week. The stress of worrying about them for that extra week just really isn't something I want to go through. The bigger they get the less room they have and the chance of cord compression is greater....so they are safer out than in. If the lungs are in the questionable area or above we are delivering that afternoon at 1 pm!!! I have had my booster of steroids to help with their lung development, so I am really praying we are good to go. We could be meeting Charli and Lili in less than 4 days....crazy!!
Barrett is getting excited too. He is such a little man it is crazy! He has just grown up so much in the last 2 months....I feel like I have missed out on alot, but I know he won't remember. He had a rough week last week because it snowed for 2 days straight which meant daddy was out doing snow removal for 3 days. My parents had him 2 of those nights and Sophie had him the other night....so not having mom or dad was rough on him. It will be so nice to be home next week and get him back into his regular routine.....I apparently have my work cut out for me though, daddy is a lot more lacks than mommy :).
Other than that, not too much going on. Oh wait! Actually....I lost my job last week. That was just a little added stress to my already stressful life, but I was expecting it. I knew my FMLA hours were nearing the end and my boss and I had talked on my last day of work about extending my leave beyond those hours. He told me he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do that because our work flow had slowed a lot. I was most concerned about insurance and had attempted numerous times before coming to the hospital to find out my options and just tried to get some sort of game plan together but the HR department SUCKS and never would give me a straight answer. They kept telling me all throughout that they were going to treat my pregnancy as a normal pregnancy, even though it obviously wasn't. So anyhow, my boss and I kind of guesstimated that my hours were up the 1st or 2nd week of November, which I figured out in my mind that meant my insurance would run through the end of November....and I knew I would deliver by then and hoped the girls would be home by then too...and then we could figure out insurance. Well, we were wrong. I got the letter from HR on Monday of last week saying my FMLA hours were up on Wednesday....yup, a 2 day notice! And I was put in the exact situation that I tried to avoid numerous times before with HR...being in the hospital at the end of my pregnancy trying to scramble to figure out insurance issues. I knew all along COBRA would be an option....but I also knew and know that COBRA is extremely expensive and was hoping I would have some more warning to try and find replacement insurance. Well...long story short, I applied for an extension to my leave which was denied (as I knew it was probably going to be), BUT my boss was kind enough to talk to HR and get our COBRA insurance premium paid through 1/1 so I don't have to worry about that while I am still in the hospital. I was SO relieved by that! I haven't gotten the paperwork yet so essentially right now we aren't covered since insurance ended on 10/31....so the thought of my csection and the NICU stay without being covered are a bit scary...but COBRA is retro active to 10/31 so I just have to trust that once I get the paperwork and send it in all will be ok.
So that really is all the news I think. I will keep everyone posted as to whether or not we deliver on Friday. Please keep praying as it has worked this long :).

It's been awhile

Well gee, I think I have a bunch to catch up on. Last report was about the visitation. We ended up having a bday party for Bear outside on Sunday instead. Not everyone could attend though because of the short notice of the change and also the swine flu. Ashby, our niece, came down with the swine flu earlier in the week. Because of that Nicole and Sophie needed to stay away because we didn't want Bear or me to get sick. So it was a small party, but he had a good time. I think we've just decided that when I get home we will have one big celebration for our anniversary, Bear's bday, my bday and the girls' bday...it will be fun :). Louis and Bear did come in after the party and stayed for a few more hours so it was a nice day. I didn't get to see my little man on his actual birthday....but Louis put me on speakerphone so we could sing to him together. He's gotten so good at talking on the phone, so that helps too!
I had been contracting when I was monitoring right before Bear's party but they weren't about to tell me I couldn't go outside, that was the nurses words exactly :). So after his party I was still feeling them and got back on the monitor. I had to get a shot of terbutaline which stops contractions. It's not a fun med because it can make your heart rate increase, make you shake and anxious. I got the shakiness but that's about it. It lasted for about an hour and then I felt normal. Babies have been looking great though!
I had another growth ultrasound this Thursday. Baby A weighs 4lbs 7ozs and is 9 days ahead and Baby B weighs 4lbs 6ozs and is 5 days ahead....so big girls! I have been talking a lot with the staff about when the right time to deliver them is....and have been having a lot of axiety over the decision. I will be getting a booster shot of steroids on Monday to help with lung development. It takes 48 hours to have any effect and lasts for 3 weeks. Every doc seems to have a different opinion. Some say we should just schedule a c-section at 34 weeks and some say we should do an amniocentisis at 34 to determine if the lungs are mature. If they are we take them out, if not we wait another week. I also talked to a NICU doc to get their perspective and as I assumed he said the longer the babies are in the better. But he did say that at 34 weeks + babies do extremely well and we may be looking at a week to 2 weeks in the NICU. The things at this gestation that are the issue is breathing on their own, feeding on their own and maintaining their temperature......so all of the scary stuff like brain bleeds, etc we have passed. The concern with waiting another week is that they are getting bigger and running out of room which means the cords could get compressed a lot easier. I could monitor more during that week, like throughout the night, but I have my fears that the nurses aren't paying attention as they should be so is it worth the risk. I have not been sleeping well lately because I am afraid that something is going to happen while I sleep, and my mind can't shut off about what's right and what's wrong. So I talked to the doc yesterday and voiced all of my concerns about the nurses not paying attention and how i don't know what's right or wrong. She prescribed me an anti-anxiety med to help me sleep which I took for the first time last night and slept like a rock...so that was great! And I think the conclusion we came up with for now is we will schedule an amnio but from now until then just see how the babies look. She said that the NICU perspective is from a live baby stand point and that the perinatologists (my docs) perspective is from delivering 2 live babies as opposed to 2 still born. Louis and I have discussed going to 34.5 weeks and doing a csection on 11/11 :).....as long as the monitoring is continuing to go well. What a fun birth date for identical twins.
Today is my birthday. My mom brought Barrett down yesterday and I met them outside so we could play for a bit, so I didn't get to see him today....but I was woken up with a phone call of him saying "Happy Bir-day Mommy!" He's so precious! Anyhow, my favorite NP bought me a muffin from the coffee shop and brought it to me this morning singing Happy Birthday. Then at lunch all the nurses came in with a cake singing Happy Birthday. Louis came down after he got done with work and had picked up a cake that our friend Christina made me and he sang Happy Birthday....so lots of love and cakes today :). Not the best birthday I could have...but my belated presents Charli and Lili will be right up there with my other favorite early birthday present Barrett.....man, we all need to do something really special for daddy's bday in July since he is all alone out there :).

So all in all, the last week and a half since I have really posted much of anything not too much has changed with the girls status. It's all still just a wait and see game and praying that each monitoring session goes well. Also praying that the girls continue to grow, but to not move too much so they don't compress each other's cords. it's still a scary road and one that is wearing on me thin. I have done my best to maintain a positive attitude throughout this entire pregnancy and most these last 8 weeks....but it's getting tough when things like seeing my son every day and seeing my husband are now limited. But on the up side, I am 32 weeks tomorrow which is HUGE!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! And that means I am only looking at 2-3 more weeks...probably closer to 2. As we approach 34 weeks I will be sure to keep you posted on what we decide to do. I'm sorry I haven't been posting more as it is....Louis has had the computer. Thanks as always for your love and support.

Damn Swine Flu

So just went I think I am on the down hill slope and it's going to get easier, it gets harder. Due to the swine flu, they have changed visitation at all the hospitals. Originally all children under 18 were not even allowed in the hospital, and I am only allowed 4 visitors, plus Louis, on a list that are allowed to come visit me. The visitors rule has not changed, but the manager of Labor and Delivery fought to get the moms who have been here long term and are going to be here for longer than a few days, visitation from their children once a week for 2 hours. I am very upset by all of this. I know seeing him 1 day a week is better than not seeing him at all.....but his little world has already been turned upside down and now he only gets to see me 2 hours a week. It just sucks! I know in the end this will all be worth it....but man has this been tough. We obviously had to cancel his birthday party too. I know he won't know any different...but I do. We will have to have a late birthday party for him when I get home. It's a good thing we have all of our family here or i just don't know what we would do. It's going to be tough for me to get to see Louis through the next few weeks too because of this. When I think of there being 3-4 more weeks until I meet my little angels I think "Holy crap it's going to fly!" But when I think about seeing Barrett only once a week and Louis only a couple of times a week probably I think "Oh my God this is going to take forever." So......I am trying to stay as positive as possible, but some times it's just tough and I have a crappy day.....today is one of those days.

Out of the 20's

I am 30 weeks and 2 days today, 6 weeks inpatient, and finally out of the 20's :). I can't believe 6 weeks have come and gone and there are only 4 more to go. I am SO excited to meet them! They are doing great. I had my ultrasound on Thursday. Baby A is 3 lbs 6 ozs and 8 days ahead and Baby B is 3 lbs 3 ozs and 4 days ahead. We got to see them in 4D. They weren't in positions to get very good pictures of their faces though....maybe next time. The monitoring is going well too. So they just need to continue cooking in there and I will be happy :).
Yesterday was mine and Louis' 1 year wedding anniversary. What a year it has been....not a normal 1st year of marriage I would say. Between having an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of our marriage to getting pregnant with one of the most high risk twin pregnancies possible, it has been stressful...but I wouldn't want to go through any of this with anyone else. We have our moments, but he is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love him more than words. He made me a home cooked meal and brought it in last night. Barrett went and stayed with grandparents and Louis and I had a "romantic" evening here at the hospital. We watched a movie and he spent the night. We'll make up for it when I get home and go out for a true romantic evening. I was just glad to have the time with him.
Other than that, I just keep plugging along. I think I am giving up on my knitting project and passing it off to my mom. I was a little ambitious I think in the blanket that I was planning on knitting when I have never knitted anything in my life. I have the hang of the general idea, but keep screwing up somehow when I go to add a new color block. I knew I needed to start with "Knitting for Beginners" or something along those lines...but the knitting store we went to didn't have a book like that. Oh well....maybe some other life time :). I need to pick up a book and start reading again. I read the 2 and half books in my first 2 weeks and haven't read since.....maybe I will do that today.
So that's that here. Barrett's 2nd birthday is October 19th so we are having a little party for him this weekend. Other than that, nothing planned for the week so I will update if there are any changes. As always, thanks for the love and support.

We have 1st names...now to just pick middle

We decided it was time to nail down names. We picked 10 names that we both liked, or at least liked some. We put them in a basket and chose 6, Louis chose 2, I chose 2, Bear chose 1 and Nicole chose 1. From that we eliminated to 4 and then 2. One of Louis's favorite names is Madison.....which I think is a beautiful name but his cousin is named Maddison and goes by Maddie, which we would have done. Well in the final drawing Madison and Charlize were chosen. Charlize is a name I LOVED when I was pregant with Bear (not knowing he was a boy). I thought it would be cute to call her Charli. When I found out I was having girls we all thought that name was a given, but Charlie seems to becoming more popular for girls. After much thought though, I decided I am not going to let that affect my decision to name my daughter that since it was a name I felt so strongly about before. So we were both great with Charlize....it was Madison I just wasn't excited about. We did the name pulling a couple of more times and Madison kept showing.....but Louis also kept saying he wasn't opposed to switching it out with Liliana which is another name we both loved. I asked him numerous times ti be sure because I didn't want to steal that away from him if it's what he really wanted...but he said he is completely happy with the names we have. So long story short, the first names are Charlize, whom we will call Charli for short, and Liliana, whom we will call Lili for short. I'm not sure which will be named which. I actually asked the NP tonight if Baby A is delivered 1st in a c-section but she said it can be either or especially with momos. I looked up the meanings of the names and Liliana means purety and beauty and Charlize means little (I also found one that said free man....but since it's a girls name to be pc that would be free woman). Anyhow, since Baby B has measured just a smidge under A then maybe we should name her Charli??? I dont know....we'll see, Just wanted to share those thoughts. I'm pretty excited that Baby A and BabyB can now be called Lili and Charli instead :).

Half way there!

5 weeks down, 5 more to go! It's been an uneventful week....but that's a good thing. Babies are looking great on the monitor. They are each having normal accelerations and normal decelerations. I'm pretty sure they are growing like weeds :). I gained 4 lbs in the past week!!! I feel huge and have had a few days here and there where I am pretty uncomfortable. Turning over in my sleep is a struggle. Both babies are head down so there are days where it hurts to walk and it feels like I have been run over by a truck from my belly button down....I have no idea how moms with more than twins do it. Makes me have a whole new respect (not that I really had one before though) for Kate Gosselin!
I got off room restriction on Wednesday. I was allowed to walk to the kitchen but had to keep a mask on. Thursday night I went to Bingo and the girl who exposed us to the flu was there. She said she felt horrible we all were confined and thought we would all hate her. I felt bad for her. She's from WY so she is already here alone and then worried all week that the women she could vent with were going to hate her....poor thing. She said she only got mild symptoms and baby is ok. Friday was the official day we were off restrictions completely, meaning no more masks. It was nice to be able to see my nurse's faces again. The pool was still closed all weekend though for extra precaution. We got to go back today and boy was it nice.
Friday night some friends came to visit. Our friends Corey and Cassie were in town from Chicago and they came for a visit. They are having their first baby in March and she looks wonderful. It was nice to see them and can't wait until they move back! Then our old neighbor Aleesha came to visit. She brought me some fun arts and crafts which was so sweet of her. She got me this kit with a strand of lights and 7 different punch out patterns to make to put over the lights. I chose to do the waterlillies and they make my room feel homey-er....so thanks a bunch Aleesha :)!
Saturday Louis and Bear came to visit for a bit. I suggested Louis bring Bear's trike down because he was throwing a fit that he couldn't go for a ride. Louis wheeled me outside and we went for a ride around the hospital with Barrett. It was SO nice to be able to see him ride. He hasn't figured out the pedals yet and does the whole Flinstone thing...but man is he FAST! I couldn't believe it. It was a gift to be able to do that and makes me realize to appreciate the little things in life. We just bought his bike before I came in so I didn't get to take him for a ride or anything because I was on bed rest. So to be able to go on a "walk" with him like a normal family was just wonderful! They spent the night again last night. I guess Barrett was telling Louis they were going to "mommy's house"....cute, but sad :(. Another great morning to wake up though hearing my little man say "hi mommy"....nothing better.
I have my next ultrasound on Thursday so I will let everyone know how that goes. Thanks for all the love and support.

28 weeks 2 days....1 month inpatient!

So let's see.....I had my ultrasound on Thursday and everything looks great. Baby A is measuring 9 days ahead and 2 lbs 13 ozs, puts her in the 61st percentile. Baby B is measuring 5 days ahead and 2 lbs 9 ozs, puts her in the 51st percentile. I asked the doctor about the difference in days being a concern and she said no, it's perfectly normal. I also asked about the cords since they looked at blood flow through them and she said nothing new was noted, which was also good news. She said that normally if there was a change there would be something noted....so all good there. As for the monitoring, they have been looking great. They each had a really high acceleration that I notiec yesterday and that is a really good sign....shows there central nervous systems are working exactly as they should! No more scares so far!
I made it to the 1st milestone as far as greater chance of survival and growth, 28 weeks. WOO HOO girls, way to behave in there....for the most part anyway :)! Now my sights are set on 32 weeks. Apparently once they hit 32 weeks the survival rate sky rockets and we are obviously looking at much shorter NICU stay. Although, it is comforting to know that now that I am past 28 weeks, we have a much better chance than we did before. This pregnancy has been full of goals....1st was 24, then 28, now 32 and then 34....we can do this!
I have been confined to my room since Friday evening. Apparently one of the moms on the unit has the flu and I was exposed at the pool. I am assuming she didn't know she had it, and I heard that she is doing ok. It's a MAJOR BUMMER to be stuck in my room though. I am not even allowed to walk to the kitchen to fill my water up anymore. When people come to visit they have to wear masks to protect themselves; and all the nurses are wearing them when they come in. Some of the nurses, and even doctors, think they are taking this to the extreme. We could be exposed by anyone bringing it in and making everyone wear masks is a little over the top. They prescribed anyone who was exposed Tamiflu as a preventitive. I first heard we were stuck for 7 days but now heard it is actually 10....so I hope it flies by!
Barrett and Louis spent the night last night. I didn't get much sleep because Louis slept in my bed with me the first half of the night and Bear slept with me the 2nd half....but it's totally worth every second of no sleep :). The best part of them spending the night is waking up and seeing his smiley face saying "hi mommy!" I know it is not the most comfortable sleeping arrangement for Louis...but it means more to me than I think he really knows.
So for now, that's the news on this home front. I will keep you posted as this week and next pass. I have a follow up ultrasound next Thursday so hopefully they continue growing like they have been and I won't have any scary situations to report. As always, thanks for the love and support :).

ROUGH day yesterday...better today

So yesterday was a very stressful day. Monday night I was feeling a little uncomfortable but didn't think too much of it. When I woke up yesterday morning I wasn't feeling as much movement as I would like and got on the monitor right away. Within 10 minutes Baby B's hear rate drop to 80's-90's and stayed there for longer than I liked. A nurse came in and had me move side to side and the heart rate started to go up to the 110-1teens. She called for my nurse to come with the ultrasound machine and started me on oxygen. My nurse showed up with a nurse practioner and another nurse. They scanned the babies and started an IV. It took about 15-20 minutes (I think...it seemed like forever to me) to get her heart rate back into the 120's-130's. Both babies baselines run about 140-150 so I knew she was having a tough time still. They kept me on oxygen for a bit and eventually her heart rate came back up to her normal hear rate. Because of this they wanted to monitor me for about 3-4 hours. During that time both babies heart rates had a few dip down into the 1teens but only for a beat and would bounce right back up. After about 4 hours they came in to let me off the monitor and Baby A decided it would be her turn to give mommy a scare. Her heart rate dropped and they put me back on oxygen. Thankfully hers rose a lot faster than Baby B's did earlier and after about 2 hours they let me come off to shower. I was on the monitor from 9-5:30...so it was a long and stressful day. They monitored me again at my normal time at night, about 8-8:30 and they looked much better. Because of the day though, they wanted to monitor me in the middle of the night so at my 4 am procardia time they had me monitor for about 45 minutes. And again, they looked better. It was a night of tossing and turning, but today they are doing MUCH better. There have only been very few dips to the 1teens and they bounce right back (which that is considered normal). There is really no change in plans as far as how things are handled from here on out. It's just a case by case basis during each monitoring session. If they look good, I monitor for an hour and get off. If they don't I will stay on longer. I did add a monitoring session to each day so now I am monitoring 4 times instead of 3. They are looking for continuous drops like I had yesterday and they would take them out. So I'm glad they are doing better today and hope that was just a bad day that won't happen again any time soon. My nurse from yesterday did come to see me today even though I'm not her patient today, and she did tell me that fortunately yesterday was somewhat mild to what she has seen before....so she hoped that eased my mind. It reaffirmed my decision to come in to the hospital when I did. I am definitely in the right place! If I had waited until 28 weeks like some momo moms do I wouldn't have seen that happening and something terrible could have happened. But I am here, and as much as it gets lonely and I want to go home, it's where I need to be for my little angels to be safe. My first milestone for their health is to get to 28 weeks and then I need to shoot for 32.....only 3 more days until 28....So keep us in your prayers! And I will keep you posted. Ultrasound tomorrow morning....can't wait to see if they are still meauring ahead and what they weigh.

27 weeks, 2 days

OK.....so I know I said last post I was going to try and blog more than once a week so I didn't babble...but no such luck. Louis needed the computer this week, so I was S.O.L. Not too much to report though. Babies are still doing well. They are having some decelerations that are scaring me, but the doctors have reassured me that all looks great. The heartbeats haven't dipped below 110 or so and when they do dip they go right back up for the most part....so I guess that is considered normal. What they are looking for is dips below 90 that stay down and don't go back up; or dips that are frequent throughout each monitoring session. I have another growth ultrasound on Thursday so I am looking forward to seeing how much they weigh and if they are still measuring a week ahead. I feel like they have grown, that's for sure :)!
Barrett came down with a viral infection and has been breaking out in random rashes. The doc said it's his body's way of fighting off the virus. For the first couple of days after his doctor's appointment he wasn't allowed to come to the hospital though :(. It was tough not seeing him or Louis. The viral infection isn't contagious but the doc just recommended better to be safe than sorry. I think he's settling back into somewhat of a schedule a bit. Louis and he came to visit on Saturday and he laid down to take a nap much easier than he has in the past.....so maybe he's getting a little more comfortable? I sure hope so!
I think my frustration with the nurse's response time was read by a few of my nurses and the charge nurse went around room to room the other day to get all of the patients feed back. She apologized about the break down of communication and said that it will not be tolerated. Since then things have gotten a bit better....so things are good on that front.
The supervisor from the cafeteria also paid me a visit for feed back and she said she would work on the issues of my orders being wrong too. So all in all, things have been getting better. I am still over the food, but at least they are bringing me what I order :).
Weekends are still my toughest time here. I just want to be home or out doing whatever Louis and Barrett are doing.....but it's hard for all of the moms. We commiserate in the pool and that really helps each of us get out of our heads. I don't know what I would do without that!
So that about wraps up my week in a nutshell without totally babbling! I will try to post again Thursday after my ultrasound. Hope everyone is doing well. As always, thanks for your love and support.

2 weeks inpatient down!

So I haven't blogged in over a week....so that makes me 26 weeks and 2 days. Babies are doing great! I had an ultrasound this past week. They are measuring almost exactly the same, 1 week ahead and 2 lbs a piece. Wonderful news! With twins there is a concern for Twin to Twin Transfer Syndrom (TTTS) which is when one twin takes more of the nutrition from the other....but as of now things are looking like that isn't a concern for us....so YAHOO! They also did an ultrasound of the cords to determine if there were any big knots in the cords. The cords are tangled as to be expected, but the blood flow through them (which they measured the frequency and waves....some medical terms I wasn't 100% on) was great so as for now there is some reassurance that the cords are doing well. I also had a more detailed conversation with one of the doctor's about plan of care. He went over the studies that have been on momo twins, which I know some of you are still trying to figure out what that means and I will explain in a sec, and when we would be looking at a c-section depending on those studies. From the sounds of things, 32 weeks is sort of a magical week for me to get to as far as babies development and less chance for problems.....so 6 more weeks to hit that milestone....we can do it girls :)! At that time I would have a booster shot of steroids to help with lung development. Then at 34 weeks they would do an amniocentisis (the big needle they stick into my belly) to determine lung maturity. At that time if everything is a-ok they schedule the csection for ASAP. If not, they wait a week and schedule the csection for that week. Some docs in this practice will push for a 36 week delivery, but most will do 34-35. The reason is as long as development is up to par, they are safer out than in because of the threat of cord compression. The good news is, in the study that was done nationwide that my practice was involved in (the Heayborne study), they had 100% survival rate, meaning no fetal deaths. He didn't touch on deaths that may have happened after birth, and I didn't think to ask until now....so I will try to remember to ask that question.
As for those of you who still wonder, why did Em call her blog the Mullen MoMos. It is because my girls are in 1 sac with 1 placenta, monoamniotic monochorionic, nicknamed momo twins. Only 1% of twin pregnancies are this type. It is a very stressful pregnancy because from conception-24 weeks there is nothing that can be done to avoid cord entanglement or strangulation. I went in for weekly appointments that I would always have a lot of anxiety about because I wasn't sure what I was going to see on the screen, heartbeat or none? Thankfully I saw 2 heartbeats every appointment. To make matters a little more stressful, my placenta is an anterior placenta which means it is on the outside basically in between the babies and my skin. So when the babies first starting kicking and moving I couldn't really feel it because of the cushion.....so just added stress wondering if they were ok. I felt, and still feel, that the doctor's practice that I have been going to has been providing me with excellent care and I feel very comfortable with them. There is a study done on MoMo twins called the Heyborne study where they studied momo pregnancies nationwide. Basically the study shows the benefits of moms going inpatient as opposed to staying outpatient. Some women from other countries take the studyto their doctors to push for inpatient monitoring. I had read about the study as soon as I was confirmed momo. Come to find out, Dr. Heyborne is a doctor in the practice who is taking care of me....so I was very confident when I made that connection. So as I said, from conception-24 weeks nothing can be done to improve chance of survival. At 24-26 weeks women are admitted into the hospital until delivery to monitor the babies. I personally chose 24 because if something went wrong between that time and I wasn't in the hospital doing everything I could to improve the chance of getting my girls here safely, I would never forgive myself. At 24 weeks babies are considered viable; however, the survival rate of a 24 week old baby outside of the womb is not that great. That is why I got the steroid shots when I first got here. To help their lungs if they needed to come out. So from here on out, I monitor their heart rates 3 times a day for an hour at a time. They are watching for good accelerations and possible low deccelerations. So far I've had the good and not the bad. I also will be doing ultrasound every other week to measure growth. And all I can do is continue to pray and leave it up to the Big Man upstairs (as I have since I have known about these miracles) that they will be healthy.
As for the monitoring, they have for the most part done really well. I normally get them on within 5 minutes or so and they stay on for the hour. There have been a few VERY frustrating sessions where I continue to try, call for help, and the nurses don't respond very quickly so I feel like I am doing it all on my own. I don't think it's the nurses fault, I think it is whoever answers the call button at the nurses station. I don't think she is good about giving the nurses the messages. Saturday for example I spent about 30 minutes trying on my own and called for a nurse. She came in about 10 minutes later, tried for about 10 minutes and told me she needed to go check another patient and left me to keep trying. I finally after an hour and some odd minutes called the nurse again and said "I have been at this for an hour by myself for the most part and am getting very frustrated. Can someone please come help me?" In the meantime I realized the kitchen had screwed up my breakfast, so when the nurse walked in she was all cheery and asked if I was ok. I had a little melt down :). I said that I had been trying for an hour, the kitchen is always screwing up my food and I just want to go home....and started to cry! Being here is hard enough....being here expected to do the nurses job is even harder.....being here expected to the nurses job and apparently now the kitchen's....I can't handle it :)! Tonight started to get a little frustrating, but I voiced that frustration when the nurse told me to call out after 10 minutes of trying. I said I did and that I had to call back a 2nd time after waiting 15 minutes because no one came. She said she never got the message. I know it's not their fault...but something needs to be done about response time. This hospital is known for the NICU and that's why I am here. But it would be nice if the stay leading up to that was as pleasant as possible with nurses who respond quickly.
Let's see.....Bear and Louis have spent the night twice I think since my last blog. The first time it took quite a while to get him to go to sleep....but I think it's because I monitored a little later than normal and that was distracting to him. Last time he fell asleep with me in my bed for a bit and then we moved him to the pack n play. It was nice to lay with him for a bit :). He also woke up pretty early the next morning having a bad dream I think, and he called out for me.....it was nice to be able to be here for him and put him in bed with me. He's doing great with Louis and the bond they are going to have when this is all said and done is going to be so strong....but I think he is still adjusting to mommy being gone. His sleep schedule is a mess and because of that he won't go to sleep unless daddy is laying in his bed with him. Before I came in, he would get into his big boy bed, one of us would read him a book, we would both then say night night to him and he would go to sleep with no problems.....that hasn't happened since I've been here. So I am feeling some guilt about that. It makes me sad that his little world is turned half way upside down and there is nothing I can do about it.....but I have to keep telling myself it will all be worth it. He has begun to say bye bye to his sisters when he leaves to go home from his visits. It's cute. We also saw a newborn baby in the nursery over the weekend and he seemed very intrigued. When he saw her he said "baby" all soft and quiet and when we were walking away he said "night night baby". It was too cute! He's going to make a great big brother.
So other than that, my niece/God daughter turned 3 on September 6th and they had her bday party over the weekend. I wish I could have been there...but Louis and Barrett went so that made me happy. Erin, my sister-in-law, brought me down some yummy cake to enjoy.....she's so sweet! I have had visitors every day so that makes the days a little bit easier. And I am still going to the pool....but no more bearded lady. She made it to 36 weeks so they sent her home to WY for delivery. I went to BINGO last week...won some mouth wash. I know, I know....Look out! Missed it this week because I had visitors. And I attempted to do some knitting tonight but didn't know how to end a row and start a new one. My mom said I just knit it like the rest of the row...but something seemed wrong and I didn't want to keep starting over so I will wait until she can give me another lesson. I have watched lots of TV.....glad football season has started!, a few movies and read 2.5 books so far....oh and I can't forget the magazines my friends Jamie and Amanda got me....Tiger Beat and the Enquirer just to name a few :). OOHHH...and one other big "freedom", I am allowed to be wheeled out of my room and outside for 30-45 minutes. It was nice the 1st time I got fresh air again after staring out my window at the mountains and sunshine for a week! And it also gives me the flexibility of going down to the Cafeteria with visitors instead of sitting in my room and eating.....so that has been really nice.
So each week I get a little bit more excited about seeing what these identical girls are going to look like!!!! Hopefully we see an equal amount of both mommy and daddy. And we are still tossing around names. We thought we had Kaia and Kolbie pinned down for awhile. But after my husband's uncle pointed out, after I had already done so numerous times but Louis didn't agree, that identical twins should have different, separate names instead of sounding the same or starting with the same letter, Louis agreed! Why are men like that??? I say something, he doesn't listen. Another man says the same thing and he listens.....oh well! At least my original thought of not wanting their names to start with the same letter has seemed to come to fruition. Now I have to try and get him away from using the same middle name for both of them. But in some ways I guess that's not as bad because people don't really know other people's middle names.....and I have to let him have his say too on this. I named Barrett, he was supposed to name the next one....so since we get the 2fer deal we are going to compromise on some things......so names will come in time. You may not know them until they are here :).
Ok, well I surprisingly took Ambien an hour ago when I started this and my words are now finally starting to run together. I think it's time for me to stop babbling and go to bed. I will try to post more frequently.....over a week leads to a really long post and probably bored half of you to death. So off to sleepy sleep.....thanks for all your love and support. Night night!

25 weeks today

Well I am 25 weeks today and have made it through 5 days so far. I have been a little emotional here and there, but everyone keeps telling me the first week is the hardest. I have seen Barrett every day and Louis every day but one. It gets lonely during the day, but I look forward to my evening visitors. Louis brought me a dozen of the most beautiful light purple roses I have ever seen last night to brighten up my room....he can be so sweet when he wants to :). We attempted to get Barrett to lay down and spend the night last night, but he wouldn't settle. There are just too many things for him to get into :). And with me monitoring on top of it and the sounds of the little heartbeats, he was just too intrigued. I think we are going to try again tomorrow night with his pack n play and see if keeping him contained in that helps. I miss sleeping next to Louis too.....7 years is a long time to have someone next to you every night. Hopefully tomorrow night works out!
The babies are doing great. I have started to do the monitoring on my own, which has impressed some of my nurses since I haven't even been here a week. I monitor 3 times a day for an hour at a time. For the most part, they are staying on the monitors rather well. There have been one or 2 times where it has taken 2 hours to monitor because they are just SO active. It's fun to watch my belly move all around when I am monitoring. There were some good heart accelerations today that the nurse said is a really good sign for this early....so that makes me feel good. Hopefully they just keep cooperating and don't get themselves tangled in there! I had to start procardia today. It is a drug that helps with contractions. I didn't even realize I was having them really, but the monitor showed I am so we need to keep that under control so they don't progress. It's apparently pretty common in a multiples pregnancy.
Other than that, nothing new to really report. The pool is a nice break in the middle of the day and I have finished a book and a half already! I am planning on starting my knitting tomorrow. I was going to start today, but Barrett is coming down shortly with Sophie. I'm looking forward to seeing them. I will report in a couple of days. Thanks for the love and support!

And so the journey begins

Well day 1 has come and gone and day 2 is more than half way over.....only something like 69 more days.....well, let's not get too technical :). Anyhow, my amazing husband threw me a little "going away" party Sunday night which was very thoughtful and generous of him. I didn't sleep a wink Sunday night and started to get an upset stomach. I started the morning yesterday not feeling well at all. Louis blamed it on nerves, but I thought it was something more. I couldn't eat anything even as much as my mind knew I needed to.....so I just paced around the house for awhile making sure I had everything I needed.
After dropping Barrett off at daycare and saying my goodbyes to him, which I have to say was probably the hardest thing I have had to do as a mommy, we headed to the hospital. I checked in yesterday morning at about 10:30ish at 24 weeks and 2 days. When I arrived up to my floor the nurses announced "the momo mom is here!"....it's like I am a celebrity :). My room is nice and big and I would have a view of the mountains if there weren't a haze over Colorado from the California fires. But better to be here then there I guess. Once I got settled in a bit, I managed to eat some cereal since I hadn't eaten anything yet and the nurse got me hooked up to the monitors. At this point in pregnancy the babies are still moving quite a bit and it can be difficult to monitor them....but the girls showed off and stayed on the monitors with no troubles for an hour...the nurse was impressed. Shortly after that, the stress and no sleep caught up to me and I dozed off for a bit. After waking up from my nap I still didn't feel very well....see, I knew Louis was wrong ;). I got my first round of steroids to help with the lung development of the babies.....the shot wasn't as bad as I thought, but can't understand why some people shoot themselves in their ass daily! Anyhow, didn't do very much else the whole day.
Louis and Barrett came to visit me last night. I ordered some dinner and managed to eat a little bit...Bear ate most of it. After they left they monitored the babies again...this time they weren't as cooperative, but did ok. As for Bear, it's going to be difficult for him to be here for much longer than an hour. Louis will need to bring some toys and books and leave them here for him to play with. I think he is confused but that's understandable. Louis said that when he picked him up from daycare yesterday he said "do you want to go see mommy?" Bear said "yes" and Louis said "at the hospital" and Bear said "babies"...so maybe he understands more than we think. But bedtime was confusing for him last night...I guess he wondered where mommy was.....I am looking forward to seeing him tonight!
This morning I woke up STARVING and knew that my stomach bug was just a 24 hour deal...Thank God :)! I ate breakfast and was then monitored. These girls are ACTIVE! Keeping them on the monitors was difficult, but we managed to get a pretty good hour. I read some after that, watched some tv, ate some lunch and was monitored again. This time they were not behaving well at all...beating each other up I think ;), and moving around like you wouldn't believe. We got about 30 good minutes in. I then went to the pool for an hour with other pregnant moms. Met another mom who is having twins, but not momos. She is 30 weeks and went into preterm labor so she's here to stop that. Also met a bearded lady....maybe it was the steroids....YIKES....LOL....just kidding. She was nice and friendly so I am not trying to be mean....I just know some of you enjoyed my little joke. Found out that on Thursday nights there is BINGO night, Sunday night is ice cream night (WOOHOO) and apparently there is an arts and crafts lady who comes around......I feel like I am in a nursing home! Ooooo and one great perk, massages once a week....can't wait for that on Thursday morning. And here I am now. The volume on my TV went out earlier so hopefully they come fix that soon...or hopefully my parents get here soon with Bear :). The plan for the evening is to hang out, eat some dinner, get monitored again and go to sleep....I know, exciting huh :). I can't say that this blog will keep you guys very interested in these beginning days, but I will keep posting to keep everyone informed. Thank you for all of your love and support.