It's been awhile

Well gee, I think I have a bunch to catch up on. Last report was about the visitation. We ended up having a bday party for Bear outside on Sunday instead. Not everyone could attend though because of the short notice of the change and also the swine flu. Ashby, our niece, came down with the swine flu earlier in the week. Because of that Nicole and Sophie needed to stay away because we didn't want Bear or me to get sick. So it was a small party, but he had a good time. I think we've just decided that when I get home we will have one big celebration for our anniversary, Bear's bday, my bday and the girls' bday...it will be fun :). Louis and Bear did come in after the party and stayed for a few more hours so it was a nice day. I didn't get to see my little man on his actual birthday....but Louis put me on speakerphone so we could sing to him together. He's gotten so good at talking on the phone, so that helps too!
I had been contracting when I was monitoring right before Bear's party but they weren't about to tell me I couldn't go outside, that was the nurses words exactly :). So after his party I was still feeling them and got back on the monitor. I had to get a shot of terbutaline which stops contractions. It's not a fun med because it can make your heart rate increase, make you shake and anxious. I got the shakiness but that's about it. It lasted for about an hour and then I felt normal. Babies have been looking great though!
I had another growth ultrasound this Thursday. Baby A weighs 4lbs 7ozs and is 9 days ahead and Baby B weighs 4lbs 6ozs and is 5 days ahead....so big girls! I have been talking a lot with the staff about when the right time to deliver them is....and have been having a lot of axiety over the decision. I will be getting a booster shot of steroids on Monday to help with lung development. It takes 48 hours to have any effect and lasts for 3 weeks. Every doc seems to have a different opinion. Some say we should just schedule a c-section at 34 weeks and some say we should do an amniocentisis at 34 to determine if the lungs are mature. If they are we take them out, if not we wait another week. I also talked to a NICU doc to get their perspective and as I assumed he said the longer the babies are in the better. But he did say that at 34 weeks + babies do extremely well and we may be looking at a week to 2 weeks in the NICU. The things at this gestation that are the issue is breathing on their own, feeding on their own and maintaining their temperature......so all of the scary stuff like brain bleeds, etc we have passed. The concern with waiting another week is that they are getting bigger and running out of room which means the cords could get compressed a lot easier. I could monitor more during that week, like throughout the night, but I have my fears that the nurses aren't paying attention as they should be so is it worth the risk. I have not been sleeping well lately because I am afraid that something is going to happen while I sleep, and my mind can't shut off about what's right and what's wrong. So I talked to the doc yesterday and voiced all of my concerns about the nurses not paying attention and how i don't know what's right or wrong. She prescribed me an anti-anxiety med to help me sleep which I took for the first time last night and slept like a rock...so that was great! And I think the conclusion we came up with for now is we will schedule an amnio but from now until then just see how the babies look. She said that the NICU perspective is from a live baby stand point and that the perinatologists (my docs) perspective is from delivering 2 live babies as opposed to 2 still born. Louis and I have discussed going to 34.5 weeks and doing a csection on 11/11 :).....as long as the monitoring is continuing to go well. What a fun birth date for identical twins.
Today is my birthday. My mom brought Barrett down yesterday and I met them outside so we could play for a bit, so I didn't get to see him today....but I was woken up with a phone call of him saying "Happy Bir-day Mommy!" He's so precious! Anyhow, my favorite NP bought me a muffin from the coffee shop and brought it to me this morning singing Happy Birthday. Then at lunch all the nurses came in with a cake singing Happy Birthday. Louis came down after he got done with work and had picked up a cake that our friend Christina made me and he sang Happy Birthday....so lots of love and cakes today :). Not the best birthday I could have...but my belated presents Charli and Lili will be right up there with my other favorite early birthday present Barrett.....man, we all need to do something really special for daddy's bday in July since he is all alone out there :).

So all in all, the last week and a half since I have really posted much of anything not too much has changed with the girls status. It's all still just a wait and see game and praying that each monitoring session goes well. Also praying that the girls continue to grow, but to not move too much so they don't compress each other's cords. it's still a scary road and one that is wearing on me thin. I have done my best to maintain a positive attitude throughout this entire pregnancy and most these last 8 weeks....but it's getting tough when things like seeing my son every day and seeing my husband are now limited. But on the up side, I am 32 weeks tomorrow which is HUGE!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! And that means I am only looking at 2-3 more weeks...probably closer to 2. As we approach 34 weeks I will be sure to keep you posted on what we decide to do. I'm sorry I haven't been posting more as it is....Louis has had the computer. Thanks as always for your love and support.