Feeling like a human again

So life has been wonderful! The girls are getting so big. Last doctor's appointment Charli weighed 10lbs15ozs and Lili weighed 10lbs12ozs. They have doubled in size!! They are beginning to get a better sleep pattern and we have had a few nights where they have slept 7 hours....so like I said, we are feeling like humans again. There necks are starting to get strong enough to where they are holding their heads up quite a bit. We tried putting them in the Bumbo seats (I will post pics later)...they held their heads for a few and then kind of slumped over to the side a bit....so a little bit longer until they can sit in those and enjoy the scenery.

Going out in public will never be the same! We get stopped every few minutes with the stupidest questions..."Are they twins? Are they identical? Were they conceived naturally?!?" Oh yes, people really do ask that last one! Can you believe it? Neither can we! I think we need to make T-shirts that say "Yes my mommy and daddy DID have sex to make my identical twin sister and I"...that should cover it right :)? I really don't get the twin question though. Do people really think we have 2 babies the same size that are what...cousins? I just don't understand.

Barrett is doing well. He LOVES his sisters...but I think he is lacking a little bit of attention. He is beating up on the girls at daycare. We are really working on spending quality time with just him. I think he's used to being the one strangers stop and stare at and say how cute he is...and now that all goes to his sisters. So we are trying to dedicate a few hours on a weekend to do something special with just him. We are working on potty training too. It's been a bit of a challenge. He doesn't seem too interested. We put him in big boy underpants and he wets himself and continues on with whatever it is he's doing...so he just doesn't care that he's wet. I am going to try the Potty Training in One Day that Dr. Phil recommends...so keep your fingers crossed for me!

So all in all, things are going great. I need to run now and tend to my girls...they are getting hungry :). I will post again soon with some recent pics. Our computer is down so I have to wait until we get it back. Until then......

Drifting through the twindom fog....

Well it sure has been awhile since my last post....I've been pretty busy as one may expect :). The girls did not get to come home on Thanksgiving :(. The night we roomed in with them, Lili has 3 bradys where her heart rate dropped to 30. Charli wasn't due to come home until Friday originally but they were going to let her come home with Lili on Thanksgiving for convenience. Since Lili was now pushed off another 5 days, we brought Charli home on Friday. It was tough leaving Lili in the hospital by herself....but she got to come home on Sunday so it was only for 2 days. Barrett was excited to meet his sisters! I think when we brought the 2nd baby home though he was a little confused :). He probably wondered why there were 2 that looked exactly alike and if there were anymore coming! He is an AMAZING big brother already and adjusted better than we could have ever asked for. Our family is a blessing.

Since being home the babies have done SO well. Last doctor's appointment, which was 12/19, Charli weighed 7.12 and Lili weighed 7.10....so they have gained almost 3 lbs since birth. They eat like champs! They never took to breastfeeding and I have stopped pumping. I wasn't getting very much and it was more tiring than anything. They got the most important stuff so I need to not beat myself up over it. We wish they were breastfeeding though....they go through a huge canister of Enfamil from Costco in 5 days!!! And we go through about 120 diapers in a week...that's including Barrett who will begin potty training after New Years. Once he is out of diapers we will be down to about 85 or so. I have mastered feeding both of them at the same time though. It took some practice, but with one in the Boppy and one on my lap, I get it done!

They have developed into little people with little personalities. As I thought while in the womb, baby A, Charli, is more laid back and takes after Louis. And baby B, Lili, is more fiesty and takes after me. They make funny noises and "talk" to each other all of the time. And they LOVE to be next to each other. I sometimes sit them together in the Boppy and they put their arms across one another....it's too cute!

My days seem to be consumed with feeding and changing babies, cleaning and always doing laundry....oh yeah, and sleeping when I can! Lili does well with sleeping in the middle of the night, only waking when it's time to eat. Charli on the other hand has her days and nights a bit confused....so we are working on trying to keep her awake more during the day. Louis and I share the responsibilities of feeding so we are equally tired :). We take turns every other day getting up with Barrett. It works out well....and I don't know if we would be standing if it weren't for him being in daycare during the week. That definitely allows for a bit of time for us to try and catch up. Although we admit, having 2 newborns is tough and we needed to have my brother Jeremy and his girlfriend babysit for the night while we went and got a hotel room to sleep. The next morning both of us agreed we could have slept another 12 hours...but it definitely did some good!

Christmas was fantastic! We hosted my family at our house. It ended up snowing on the 23rd-the 25th...so I had a true test of being a housewife since Louis was out doing snow removal :). I must say, I didn't do too shabby! I had to take care of all 3 kiddos, while cleaning and cooking for X-mas. And on top of that, once I finished doing all of that for the day, I had to bath all of us and get us ready to go to Louis' mom's X-mas Eve. It was very tiring, but I did it! I think the combo of those few days for me and the lack of sleep Louis got doing snow removal were the topper for us needing the night of sleep. Santa Claus was very good to Barrett...and he deserved it. He was such a great helper to mommy on X-mas Eve day while daddy was working! He LOVES to help clean so I gave him a Clorox wipe and he wiped down all of the walls and doors while I got some cooking done. And he helped with his sisters....which by the way he doesn't really know their names and it's so cute. He just calls them sisters. If you ask ones name, he answers "sister". I think he knows that one is Lili and one is Charli....but it's just easier for him to call them sister so that's what he calls them.

So all in all, I couldn't be happier. Having all 3 of my children together, home and healthy, is what I kept my mind focused on for the 10 weeks I was in the hospital. God made it happen and I couldn't be more thankful! I couldn't have done it without the love and support of my family and friends either, so for that I thank all of you. I will update periodically and keep you all posted on the crazy life of the Mullen family :). Until next time.......

Liam Patrick

I forgot to add that my brother Chris and sister in law Erin had their second child, Liam Patrick, on November 19th at about 4:30ish (I think!). He was 7 lbs 1 ounce and 19 3/4 inches. He is adorable. Big sister Emma is apparently doing ok with him. I am so glad he made it here safe and sound as well as Erin starting having contractions at 33 weeks. She made it to about 38....you go Erin! My parents went from having 3 grandchildren to 6 in the matter of 2 weeks.....holidays are going to be so fun in a few years :).

Possible homecoming

Things have been going great. Both girls had feeding tubes removed and are eating like champs. Charlize Sophia was 5.12 last we heard and Liliana Helen was 5.9....so gaining weight! I have attempted breast feeding with both of them and don't think they are getting very much milk. After each attempt they eat a whole feeding from a bottle so all I can do is keep trying I guess. It's a bummer because Barrett took right to it and I never really had any problems. Pumping has been VERY tiring so I really hope that if I continue to try they will take to it so I can decrease pumping. If they don't, I will pump for as long as I can...but just don't know how much I have it in me to keep it up....we'll see. I would have to say that it is one of the worst parts about them being preemies actually. With Barrett I only had to pump occassionally....pumping every 2-3 hours just isn't the same. Oh well....I can't beat myself up....I did spend 10 weeks in the hospital to fight for them....I think they will understand :).
Both girls are doing great as far as the bradys go too. And because of that we may be able to bring them home on Thanksgiving!!!!! We won't be able to bring them to dinner or anything....but I couldn't ask for a better Thanksgiving if they are with me at home! They need to be brady free for 5 days.....so far so good. Louis and I held the babies today without being hooked up to the heart rate monitor. It's a little scary at first, but I think we have both come to realize when they are forgetting to breath and we have learned what to do. It's going to be nerve wracking and I'm sure I will have lots of sleepless nights because of it, but it will be SO wonderful to bring them home....and what better day than Thanksgiving! I have SO much to be thankful for this year. We will be rooming in with the girls tomorrow night at the hospital. It's nice they do that so we get to have a practice run of what it's going to be like, but have the nursing staff there if something is happening or we have any questions. We also had to watch a few videos today on infant CPR, RSV and Shaken Baby Syndrome. Both Louis and I know CPR so it was a great refresher!
So all in all, we couldn't have asked for a better outcome in this whole experience. I know lots of you can't wait to meet them....and you will in time. We need to ease them into things so we don't over stimulate them (so different than full term babies!....even rubbing them and rocking them can be too much!).....and unfortunately with the flu and RSV we need to be very cautious. I don't want to have to go back to Presbytarian St. Luke's hospital for anything other than the occasional visit to my favorite nurses on 3A :).
I will let you all know if things go as planned...and if they don't, at least we know it's not far off. But please say some more prayers that Thanksgiving day will be the day our little angels get to come home and we can finally be our family of 5! Boy is Barrett done for :). Thanks!

Finally some pics

I finally got around to downloading the pics off my camera. There are a few of my pregnant belly and then obviously the girls....and had to throw one in there of our number 1 son too :). The girls doing well. Lili is still having bradys, but her eating from a bottle has increased so less tube feeding. Charli's eating from a bottle has decreased a bit and she unfortunately had a brady last night. We originally thought she might be home first....but now we think she doesn't want to leave her sister behind so she is going to act up to stay with her :). But apparently all their behaviors are normal and nothing that is concerning the docs. So here's the pics....enjoy!

The NICU rollercoaster has opened for business

So the ride has begun! As I said in the last post, Lili has been having bradys. Well, after the other day when she had that long one when I was holding her, they decided that evening to suction her nose after she had another one. They apparently got quite a lot of boogies out and she didn't have any bradys for about a 12 hour stretch. When she did have one it wasn't very long and she recovered on her own. I was SO happy and felt much more relieved.....thought maybe she was having them because of congestion. When I went to see them yesterday both girls were really alert and I got to breastfeed and follow up with a bottle feed with each of them. It was a great visit! When I called this morning she had only had 1 last night and it was another quick one that she recovered from on her own....so again, very relieved!
Louis and I went to see them today. While I was holding Lili she decided to have 4 bradys in an hour!!! She recovered on her own for 3 of them, but needed a little light stimulation for the other one. I sat there crying for the majority of our visit. It's SO scary to be holding your little baby and her heart rate drops to an alarming rate. I feel SO panicked when it happens and it scares me to hold her because I am afraid that if she were to have a terrible one I wouldn't know what to do. I know the nursing staff is there to do what they need to do....but I am her mommy and I should be able to protect her and help her when she needs it. And then I have terrible feelings of guilt because I now have this fear of holding her and I know she needs to be held and loved by me. I don't want to fear going to see my babies because of this and I know it's something I need to get over. I think my hormones are all over the board too which I know isn't helping the situation.
Charli also had one while Louis was holding her. Hers only dropped for literally a second so I don't know if that is truly counted as one. The nurses try to comfort me and have said that even term babies have bradys but because they aren't monitored it is never known....but again, that still doesn't comfort me.
I just called to check on them and the nurse tonight seems great. Lili did have another brady but it was another short one that she recovered on her own. I told the nurse about this afternoon and my new fear of holding my own child and she made a few suggestions. She said to maybe limit the time I am holding her because she could be getting over stimulated and that is her body's way of telling me she needs to go back and lay down. She also said that a lot of the time it is positional and to be sure she has a clear airway while I am holding her. She assured me that this is very normal, not a concern, and something she should grow out of in the next 2-3 weeks. She said she knows it's hard for parents to handle and told me to call in the middle of the night if I am up and worried. I really like this nurse...and maybe that was part of my issue today, I didn't feel 100% comfortable with the nurse. She didn't seem as caring as the other nurses I have met and wasn't very informative.....so maybe I can request not to have her again. I will look into that.
So anyhow, I knew this next chapter of our journey with our girls wasn't going to be easy but I guess because they moved to the grad NICU so quickly and everyone was so impressed with how well they were doing, I got excited and expected them to be home sooner than I think they will...or at least Liliana will. Hopefully we will be on the uphill slope of this ride again and it will level out and we can get off.....but I have a feeling we might have a few dips before that happens. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Babies born November 6, 2009

So I have been a little busy, as you all can imagine, and haven't had time to post. Charlize Sophia and Liliana Helen were born on November 6th at 1:26 pm and 1:28 pm. Charli weighed 5 lbs 4 ozs and was 18 1/4 inches and Lili weighed 5 lbs and was 19 inches. They were born at 33 weeks 6 days and are doing well.
The day started out with an amnio at 8:30 am....didn't hurt as bad as I had imagined. We got the results at about 10. Mature lungs are a 55, the gray area is the 30's and 40's (I think). The test came back at 34. Needless to say, not the number we had hoped for. The doctor said that it was our decision and we had already said that we were going to go through with the csection if they were in the gray area, so he was ok to deliver. I was very upset and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be making the wrong decision. I knew I couldn't take another week in the hospital with the stress of wondering if the babies were ok, but I didn't know if taking them out was right. He assured us that our decision was going to be the right one no matter what but that he had to tell us the good, bad and ugly and that they could possibly be on a ventilator but the chances were small....and that basically the risks of keeping them and taking them out were pretty equal. So after much anguish, we decided to go through with the csection because we would rather have them in the NICU where they can be helped if necessary.
So the csection was at 1 and they were both here by 1:30. What a different experience than Barrett's birth!! Louis and I walked back to the OR, were able to get a cute pic of us before hand and I remembered everything. Right after birth we were told they were doing well and didn't need any oxygen!! What FANTASTIC news!!! I DID make the right decision after all.
After delivering the babies and getting my tubes tied...oh yeah, that's right, no more stressful pregnancies for me! 10 weeks in the hospital was enough :). Louis spent time with me in recovery, there was a surgery going on in the NICU so he couldn't get in until that was done. Once he could get in, he went to check the babies and all was going well. I finally got down to see them at 8pm that evening. They are BEAUTIFUL and look SO much like Barrett did as a baby it's crazy!! They spent 4 days in the NICU before being moved to the graduate NICU. They were under photo therapy lights for jaundice (which is very common in preemies), had IV's for fluids and feeding tubes. They started eating from a bottle on day 2, but get tube fed every other feed to be sure they get all of the necessary nourishment and they get tired out easily...eating is a chore! They are in isolettes to control their body temps but are very close to getting out of those. IV's were taken out on Tuesday. Other than learning how to eat everything is going great....for Charli that is. The nurse today said Charli is doing better than most babies at her gestational age. Lili on the other hand has been having bradys. Bradys are basically when the babies heart rate drops below 80. An alarm goes off alerting the nurse. The reason they happen is that she just forgets to breath. Apparently these are very common with premature babies...but still is very worrisome to me. She had one when we were there today while I was holding her. It was the longest one she has had and totally freaked me out. I sat there balling while the nurse was coaching me on what to do when they happen. She has about 5 or so a day and is something she should grow out of in the next week or 2. They did test for infection and that came back clear. If they continue the doc is considering putting her on caffeine to help keep her stimulated.
With my hormones crashing and Lili's bradys, today has been an emotional day. Being home without my little angels is tough. I am trying to stay positive and know that I am blessed they are doing so well.....but I think I also need to let my guard down for a minute and have a good cry about it. It's been a long road and I can't wait until they are home with us. I think Charli will come home first and hopefully Lili will be right behind. She has to be brady free for 5 days before coming home...so keep her in your prayers. I will post pics once I have a minute to go through the office ( which looks like a bomb went off in) and look for the cord to download them on to the computer. Hopefully I will find that time tomorrow.
So for now, that is my news. I will keep you posted on their progress! Thanks as always.